Archive for June, 2008
Posted on June 21, 2008. Filed under: Brain Dump | Tags: bitching, crying, hot, liz phair, uncle alvarez, weather |
I think I pulled a muscle in my tear duct from the past six days of crying uncontrollably.
So I’m all cried out and trying to escape the heat, considering the fact that it’s over a hundred degrees here.
Fuck weather.
I like Liz Phair.
She and I get along.
Uncle Alvarez is dead.
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Posted on June 17, 2008. Filed under: Brain Dump | Tags: bad, bitch, choice, earth, evil, God, good, heaven, hell, left-handed, nice, purgatory, righteous, sarcastic, stupid, wrong |
Honestly, I suck at life.
I thought I could be happy, selfless, compassionate, Christian stupid. I sucked at that. So then I decided I’d be a DGAF bitch. I sucked even more at that.
So now I’m stuck somewhere in the middle. Heaven don’t want me, Hell thinks I’m a poser. So now I’m stuck in the [...]
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Posted on June 15, 2008. Filed under: Brain Dump | Tags: atheist, bible, Christ, church, done, fuck, God, gone, heaven, hell, Jesus, people, stupid, understand |
Sometimes, you just leave people and places behind.
I was standing in the shower a few days ago, and I decided I wasn’t going back to church. Ever.
I wish I could say why, but justifying it to myself is just going to hurt. One of the greatest things about humanity is how we can turn a [...]
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Posted on June 13, 2008. Filed under: Journaling | Tags: alive, becoming, boyfriend, brandywine, broken, Canyon, chains, child, dead, dying, family, father, free, freedom, gone, hills, lover, memories, memory, metal, mother, old house, ranch, red, redtail, room, vandalized |
Caleb took me to my old house today.
It was like paramnesia on auto-pilot. We pulled up the driveway, and I half expected him to slow down to avoid hitting the dogs that used to so often greet drivers. He didn’t.
We stepped up to the French doors. The routine of seven years gravitated my hand toward [...]
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Posted on June 11, 2008. Filed under: Brain Dump, Journaling | Tags: blameless, cutting, God, human, life, messiah, recover, recovery, scapegoat, self-abuse, sin, sinner |
You know, it feels good to know you’re doing something right.
I know you aren’t supposed to let others define your self-worth, but that isn’t exactly easy when you’re a self-doubting adolescent surrounded by people constantly telling you what you’re doing wrong and never what you’ve done the right way. It creates this bubble of insecurity-you’re [...]
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