Brain Dump
Flora and the Blade
How much of a chance do I really have?
Those moments of civilized privacy–showering, using the toilet–seem savage and volatile. I trace the ghosts of scars, long faded, hoping to feel them raise beneath my fingers and prove that they once were–that they are–real.
The solitary scar that remains feels like a trap of guerilla warfare, as [...]
Taking Time to Smell the Flowers
Before everything turned itself on its side, before the break-up, before rehab stint II, before I found I was suffering at the hands of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization, I had something.
I secretly hated my job, my family, my boyfriend, myself. Then, out of the blue, I was given the opportunity to take a floristry class.
Surprisingly, [...]
Take a Mistake, Chop it Up into Little Pieces and Feed it to the Dog.
You know one of those monumentally stupid mistakes you make and spend the rest of the next day convincing yourself it never happened? That’s kind of what’s happening.
I’d write the details, but do they really matter?
I’m ambivalent. I’m sick of living this holier-than-thou hypocritical life. I’m just like any other teenager. So what if I [...]
A Recap of September/October
September 28:
Caleb breaks up with me, for good this time.
I check myself into rehab, again.
I don’t relapse, as much as I want to.
September 28-October 28:
Spent in rehab, with drug-addict kids.
One girl was being filmed for television.
Constantly told how wrong I’m living my life.
Go back to working my steps.
October 28:
My mom flips out, pulls me out [...]
I’m Rubber, You’re Glue
“I’m rubber, you’re glue. Your words bounce off me and stick to you.”
Many of us have heard this riposte at one point in our lives, though it may be only a distant memory. Still, it is recently that I have discovered the true value of yet another children’s meter.
I just spent a month’s stay in [...]
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